This morning it dawned on me. In this blog I have openly shared my weight. I have another blog that I haven’t done anything with in a long time and I shared my weight there as well. I have also shared my weight in my YouTube videos. The difference is…those other things, I’ve never shared with anyone I knew in my real life/face to face. I figured it was okay to share my weight there because those people didn’t know me and for some reason I didn’t fear judgement from those I didn’t know.
So for me to step outside my shell and share not only this blog but my weight too is a very BIG step for me. So why am I sharing? Well, I’ve decided that I cannot be afraid to be me. And why should I only share with strangers when perhaps there are those in my real world that could cheer me on as well. Why was I so afraid of sharing with those I know anyway? One word…fear.
I’m really not sure what has led me to have so much fear. I’ve been through a lot of hurt and perhaps that’s part of it…perhaps I feared being hurt somehow.
Weigh in is tomorrow and no I don’t look forward to it. I hate the scale. I know it’s just a number and it doesn’t define me, but for some reason that stupid number has had some kind of control over me more than once. I only weigh in because its required to maintain my health insurance incentive.
I will be back tomorrow to share what my weight is. Yikes!