Where do I begin? It’s been two months since I’ve lasted added an entry to this blog. I have been hospitalized a total of four times in the last 10 months. I really don’t remember a lot of the day that I was admitted for each visit, except for this last one, which was back the end of July to early August. What I remember is something else I’ll say. I behaved in ways I never would. I remember going outside the morning I was to be admitted, laid down in the grass in the shape of a cross and was yelling at the sky. I was yelling “I’m a believer”. The uncomfortable part was that I chose to lay down in the neighbor’s yard. I went back in the house and my husband said you’re going back to the hospital. So we went. On the way there, I was somehow reading nearly every sign we passed and I would yell “I’m trying to use my coping skills”. When we got to the hospital, I was sitting in a room and I couldn’t sit still and I was singing and yelling. I was admitted and there I stayed until early August.

Now I’m not saying that I loved the place because I didn’t. I missed seeing my family so much. But I will say, it helped. I got under control with the help of medication. I was always one who hated medications. I didn’t like pill taking at all. BUT, in this case, I was okay with the meds. I certainly don’t want to go through what I went through again. I did what I needed to while hospitalized. I participated in the group therapy sessions and classes. I don’t think I missed any of them unless I was tired and preferred taking a nap. Thankfully, my husband had open visitation so he did come by now and then. I loved the visits. My daughter also came too on most visits. After two weeks I was discharged to the partial program. Partial was group therapy that ran from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. during the week. At least with partial, I got to go home each day. I completed 4 days of partial and then was discharged fully. I was so happy to be done with it. Even happier that I felt stabilized and in much better moods.

My diagnoses ranged from Severe Depressions, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety, and Schizoaffective. Yes, my hospitalizations were at a Mental Hospital.

I’ve made great progress so far because I’m now back to work. Of course, I’m taking it slow. I work 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. three days a week. I get re-evaluated by my Psychiatrist on Monday the 13th. I think I could handle some more hours. I just don’t want to get overwhelmed or stressed right away. I don’t want to have any more episodes that could land me in the hospital again.

I could keep going, but I’ll stop here.

About DorothyMarie

I'm 47 years old, divorced with two adult daughters. My youngest lives with me. Between the two of us, we have four dogs. I own one Pitbull Terrier named Oaklee, a German Shepherd named Xena and a Pomeranian named Teddy Bear. My daughter owns Oaklee's sister named Aspen. I started school in January of 2018 and am studying Psychology. I have a long road ahead of me but am excited about it.
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1 Response to Update

  1. Cathy says:

    I thank the Good LORD for medications that help us with these bodies, and minds~ He gave knowledge to help us~ I’m glad you have such a loving family!!! Hugs~


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