Faced One of My Biggest Fears!

Good morning Readers!

First, I apologize for being MIA for days. Truth is, I’ve been feeling down a bit again because my phone service has been shut off. That means I haven’t been able to do any Shipt Shopping. The anxiety was getting the better of me. I even went to the doctor one day this week and broke down in tears in her office. I was just overwhelmed. My blood pressure was slightly elevated too. I had blood work done and will have the results in a few days. I have my 6 month post op appointment with the surgeon this coming Thursday and I have a complete physical appointment on the 13th.

Some other good news. I had applied online for a job at Kohl’s late Friday night. Saturday morning I had an invitation to schedule an interview. So I have that on Monday at 3 p.m. I’m really nervous because I have zero experience with that side of retail. But I’ll just do my best. I’ve come to realize that sitting at a desk all day long is not my dream job. And no, neither is Kohl’s. I also applied at Hobby Lobby, but their application is a paper one. And I don’t know if they’re actually hiring or not.  I do think my goal of working with the incarcerated may be my passion. That’s along way down the road though. Right now I just need income! I need my phone back. I’m lost without it. I hate being out driving without communication should I need it.

Alright so back to the topic…yesterday I attended Christmas with the Animals at John Ball Zoo in Grand Rapids MI. It was so much fun! I went with my aunt and uncle. I did a video as well on YouTube if you’re interested in seeing it. It was cold out but the rain that was forecasted pretty much held off. Thank God. Anyway, I actually touched a snake and wrapped my hands gently around its body. It was a California King Snake 🐍. No, it was by no means a huge snake but it doesn’t matter with me. I have had a deathly fear of snakes for as long as I can remember. This is a monumental event! My aunt was so supportive and walked me through it. My anxiety was up there. When that snakes face was coming toward me, my anxiety skyrocketed and my heart skipped beats. I know in the picture, I look all comfortable, but trust me, the feelings were there.

I’m so proud of myself for facing that fear.  The volunteers working the event were very nice.  I had lots more pictures that I put on Facebook.  I’m pretty sure if my aunt hadn’t been there, I probably would’ve walked right by the snake and left the building in a quick like manner.  After my encounter, I cried.  My aunt was very proud of me.  Her first encounter was with a HUGE snake named Kitty at Gator Land in Florida.  Some day, I’d like to go there.  

So since I’m typing this on Sunday, I might as well talk a little about today too.  I attended church and it was a great service.  It’s the first Sunday of Advent. The candle of hope was lit.  We did Holy Communion. I made sure to pray for so many including myself.  We are starting a new bible study called The Journey by Adam Hamilton.  I’ll be studying with my group Girl Talk and we are not starting until January so we’ll be behind the rest of the church. I received some much needed hugs at fellowship following the service.  

This afternoon I attended the high school play. They performed the production Annie. They did such a good job.  I went by myself.  Sometimes it’s hard going to things alone. But, I enjoyed the production and I sang along with “The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow”.  And if you want to hear me sing horribly, feel free to check out today’s Vlogmas video. Oh, I haven’t mentioned that yet have I?  I’ve decided to participate in Vlogmas and that means I’m going to vlog everyday for 25 days; so everyday up through Christmas.  I hope I can be creative and fun.  One year, I vlogged everyday for an entire year as part of what was called the YouTube orbit.  That was back when the kids were in high school and life was much different. The kids were in band and Kayleigh was in cheerleading. I had quite a bit going on.  Oh well, I think I can find things to talk about or do.  It’ll just be me now; and my dogs.  I bet there’s probably a Blogmas too.  🙂 . Hmm would I want to do both?  

Subject change again.  I think I might also apply to Target.  A friend at church said I could put them down as reference.  Said they pay better than Kohl’s.  Their daughter works there and will be leaving in January.  I don’t know. I just know I need some income.  

Oh…one more thing. This past week, I volunteered with Santa Claus Girls.  I wrapped presents for a 10 year old girl and then sorted hats.  It was an amazing thing to do. I had never done it before.  I really enjoyed it.  I will definitely be doing it again next year.  

Okay, now I think I’m done.  

Wherever you are in this world, I wish you peace, love and happiness.

Dottie May 🌻

About DorothyMarie

I'm 49 years old, divorced with two adult daughters.
This entry was posted in Anxiety/Depression, life, Wellness, Work and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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