Doing My Best To Stay Strong

Today started pretty strong. I had Girl Talk which was hosting a woman’s breakfast at the church followed by a special Old Kids Choir concert. I attended both and enjoyed them very much.  I did record videos of most of their performance numbers. But I only posted a couple within my VLOGMAS Day 4 video on YouTube. A link to my channel is the side bar. 

After the performance at church, I had to run an errand in Grand Rapids. It was then that I received a text from my ex husband. Apparently, the credit union has been calling him to let him know they are looking for my car. There is a loan on my car and I am behind. I haven’t been hiding it or anything. Anyway, I immediately felt my anxiety go through the roof.  What was I going to do if my car is taken away? I cried and prayed all the way home. I texted a friend of mine letting him know what was going on.  He is so sweet and is trying to help me out. When I got home, I took one of my anxiety pills.  Aside from being full of anxiety, I was also angry. I have been emailing the credit union several times to let them know my situation and they have not once gotten back with me. I am unable to call because my phone is shut off.  I became so frustrated.  So I went in my room and laid down for awhile.  Cried some more and cuddled my teddy bears.  Yes, 47 and cuddling teddy bears!

Later in the evening, I went to the final meeting of GriefShare.  I’m glad I went because I needed the support.  I broke down in tears there too.  I started to doze off a little during the video – shame on me! But after the video, we did a little game and got presents. It was a good time and helped alleviate my ill feelings.  

I’m doing my best to stay strong and give it to God. Oh, to top it off, I did not get the job at Kohl’s.  

For now, I’m just going to call it a day and go curl up under the blankets and pray some more.  I know I’m not weathering the storm alone.  One thing at a time, I’ll make it through.  Some how, some way…the door will be opened.  

Wherever you are, I wish you peace, love and smiles.

Dottie  🌻

About DorothyMarie

I'm 49 years old, divorced with two adult daughters.
This entry was posted in Anxiety/Depression, life and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Doing My Best To Stay Strong

  1. Create Space says:

    This is certainly challenging for you but you are stronger than you think. In Ireland we have a free and confidential service called “MABS” Money advice and budgeting service. They make representations on your behalf to any lenders you have and help agree repayment terms. Maybe you have similar near you? Or call into your credit union and arrange an appointment with them to discuss your repayment terms. Often once you engage with them and they see you are pro-active they will be facilitative. Best of luck. Xx

    Liked by 2 people

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