Today was a much better day than yesterday so that’s good. I had both my therapy appointment and my med management appointment at the Psychiatrist’s office. My therapy appointment went pretty well. I always enjoy being able to discuss my feelings that I’ve been having. One emotional statement that I had made to someone yesterday and I shared with her today was a little concerning for her. That was… “I hate my life.” We discussed this statement further to be sure I wasn’t suicidal. I’m not. It’s just that yesterday is when I found out the bank was looking for my car and I got extremely scared, while also being angry because they were calling my ex and ignoring all my emails that I have been sending to them. I know they want their money, but I just would like them to at least acknowledge my emails. Anyway, I shared my feelings about this with my therapist so she understood more. We then talked about Thanksgiving and then other financial stressors including my phone being shut off and not being able to do the Shipt shopping, not getting the Kohl’s job. I told her I have been crying quite frequently. But with everything, she was impressed by the fact that I take time to feel my emotions and that I still reach out to others and I don’t completely isolate myself. She is so happy that I seem to have so many people supporting me. So am I. I am certainly blessed in that regard. While I was there, she shared a paper with me, the Top 11 Tips to Soothe your Mind and Body During the Holiday Season. I also picked out a new decorated rock for my collection. This time, I chose “Dream”.
My Psych appointment went alright too. No changes in meds are required. I told him about a letter I got from the Michigan DHS about not meeting my requirement of working 80 hours a month for food assistance and that I thought that my depression and anxiety were getting in the way. So he said he would write a letter to DHS and see if I could be excused from that requirement. I thought that was very nice of him to do that. So, we’ll see if DHS accepts it. I hope they do. My blood pressure was up a little while I was there. But it always is when I go there. It also could be my depression and anxiety too.
It’s now 6:37 and I still need to eat dinner. I know I’m actually blogging early in the evening! That’s a first!
I got my text book in the mail for my class that’s starting in January. “The American Promise – A Concise History”. And I never cancelled the English class so it looks like I may be doubling up on classes in January! Yikes! I hope I can handle it. The English class is one that I had dropped back in March because of the divorce and I needed to take a break. Time is flying by.
I’m really not ready for Christmas at all. But I’m still trying to be cheery and upbeat as much as I can. I save the down times and crying to my personal time…for the most part.
I’m going to end here. Wherever you are, I wish you peace, love and smiles.