Good afternoon to whomever may still follow me. I appreciate you being here and apologize that it has been such a long time since my last post.
I was hospitalized in November for nearly a month for my mental illness(es). They include depression, anxiety, PTSD and SchizoAffective Disorder. It was a horrible time for me. The hospital I was in was on the other side of the state so I didn’t get visitors as often as I would’ve liked. My kids were my only visitors due to how far away I was. I thank God for them though. The hospital had me on what seemed like several medications and one of them caused nighttime bedwetting. That was awful to deal with. The problem continued after being released as well. I’ve had to wear adult diapers to bed at night. I hate it. Although, I have since been taken off the medication that caused it so things are improving thankfully. I go to therapy every few weeks and I also have med management. I don’t go for another med management visit until July though. I’m currently on 300 mg Seroquel at night and 10 mg Trintellix in the morning. I can’t even remember the name of the medication that caused the bladder issues. It was a difficult few months but I’m doing much better now.
I’m doing my best with the stay home order due to the coronavirus. I’ve not gone crazy and that’s good. My moods have been mostly good; aside from yesterday. I had a rough morning yesterday. It was the first time I cried in a few weeks. I’ve just been feeling overwhelmingly lonely. Sometimes I find myself feeling jealous of my ex who is happily engaged to the woman he more than likely cheated on me with. I know…I’m way better off without him, but I miss having someone to cuddle with and a dog is just not the same. Although I’m grateful to have Oaklee. Lately, I’ve been feeling more and more lonely and like I’m ready to have a relationship of my own. I’m not necessarily ready for marriage or anything just ready to have a boyfriend and enter that next chapter in life. There are some guys I talk to online but that’s not the same and honestly, you just never know who it is you’re talking to. I’ve seen plenty of episodes of Catfish to know that. I wish people could be trusted, but some just can’t. I’ve been doing things to try to keep busy but yesterday just hit me like a ton of bricks. Thankfully I had a tele-therapy appointment so was able to talk it out a bit. There is someone locally who I really like; however, I’m not sure he’s ready for a relationship. He’s a widow and it hasn’t been quite a year since he lost her. We’ve got a good friendship going and if it goes beyond that, I’d be fine but I’m not pushing anything. I have to be patient and understand that all is in Gods time, not mine. I will admit though that patience is a struggle at times.
I am currently in the same house but I will have to be moving at some point. I tried getting ahold of the law office that foreclosed my house to find out how long I have here but she just said she’d forward my email to the client. I haven’t heard anything else. I’m hopeful I have time though due to the virus. I really don’t think it’d be a good time to move. Plus, I can’t even get boxes to pack. Nobody is giving them out due to the virus. As we all know, a lot of life aspects have been affected. My credit also sucks so finding a place has been difficult. All the apartment complexes run a credit check so that doesn’t help me. Oh and due to the coronavirus, I’m unemployed as are many. Thankfully, I am getting Pandemic Unemployment Assistance. I don’t know what I’d do if I wasn’t getting the help.
I decided to update my blog and write again. I hope I can keep up with it and have something to write about that people would want to read. I don’t want it to be boring. However, my life is on the side of boring…especially now with the stay at home order in effect. I’d love to take a little road trip to the Mackinaw Bridge. It’s been awhile since I’ve been there. But I’m afraid, I’d get a ticket if I tried traveling that far during this pandemic. If you’re reading this, do you have any ideas of what I could write about? I could treat it as a journal and record my thoughts I suppose? Reveal my secrets to the blogosphere! lol
I’ve started to read more and made a goal to read 12 books this year. I’ve only completed one book so far. That was a book called Mr. Murder by Dean Koontz. Right now I’ve started a book called Chill Factor by Sandra Brown. I tend to enjoy psychological thrillers and suspense type novels. I was never big on reading until the last couple years. I’m not sure I’ll make my goal of 12 books or not. I could’ve had I started at the beginning of the year. I could’ve done a book a month. Although that’s even pushing it for me. I really have to be in a mood to read and it has to be something that can keep my attention. I will not get very far in a book if it doesn’t grab my attention relatively quick. I’d say I could write about the books I read, but I’m not very good at that without giving away the story.
What’s keeping you all busy during these difficult times? If I’m not reading, I’m watching movies or coloring. Now I’m going to add in blogging. I tend to also browse Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and at times play with Snapchat. Oh and TikTok too. There are some talented people out there. I’m kind of a social network junkie. I have experimented with some dating sites too. That surprises me to be honest because I’m really an introvert. But I’m almost thinking I’m more extrovert than I thought since this quarantine has me missing people. A lot. I miss hugs. Hugs have always been like medicine to me and now we can’t do that.
Well, I suppose I’ll go for now. If you’ve read this entire post, thank you! Please feel free to share what you’ve been doing to keep busy and how you are in general. Are you keeping your sanity? Are you trying new things that you’ve not done before? Let me know what you’d like to see me write about too.
Peace ~ Love ~ Smile
❤ Dottie May