So you want to know a bit about me?
I am currently 47 years old, divorced with two wonderful daughters. We have five dogs between my daughter and I (2 Pitbull Terriers named Oaklee and Aspen. Aspen belongs to my daughter. 1 German Shepherd named Xena that belongs to me, 1 Long Haired Husky/Wolf/Malamute named Kaya that belongs to my daughter, and 1 Pomeranian named Teddy Bear that belongs to both of us).
I used to work full time in the Information Technology field, but back in October of 2017 had my position eliminated so I returned to school in January of 2018 and am studying Psychology! I know, total career change. I’ll be attending school for a long time.
The purpose of this blog…
I’ve struggled with my weight my whole adult life. I have also battled depression and anxiety as well as schizoaffective disorder and psychosis as well as low self esteem. I don’t remember what it’s like to be under 200 pounds as I haven’t been there since high school. I was once a hefty 403 pounds. That was early 2009. I did have weight loss surgery in December of 2009. I had the vertical sleeve gastrectomy. I don’t talk much about it because I was not very successful. I got down to a low of 253. That was the summer of 2011. My dad passed away in November of that year. It brought me down, but come the new year of 2012 I started counseling and started back at the gym and was doing pretty well. In March of 2012, my dear sister friend Heidi went missing one evening and the next day was found face down in a nearby pond. Her death tore me up worse than most. I fell into a deeper depression. Her death brought back memories of my moms and dads death and I felt so incredibly overcome by grief. I then started thinking of my own life and death. I had some nightmares. I started counseling weekly focusing on grief.
Late summer of 2012 I had my first panic/anxiety attack. It scared me. I was off work for a while. By this time the weight started coming back. In late March of 2013 I had another attack. This time I ended up in the hospital to make sure it wasn’t a stroke or something. This was even scarier than the first. I decided to stop focusing on weight loss and focus instead on my mental well being and getting better sleep.
My weight continued to creep back up. I was hospitalized for mental illness several times between 2013 and December of 2016. In December of 2016, I was finally placed in a Christian hospital and was stripped of all the meds I was on and placed on only one. It has been a God send. I have not had to be hospitalized since. I also switched to a Christian counselor and have been going to therapy twice a month.
This blog has evolved from a weight loss journey into a life journey. Follow me as I recover from mental illness, job loss and divorce and find my true happiness once more.
Thanks for stopping by!