Day 14 – 30 Days of ME!

Hello Readers!

How are you? It was Monday and now technically it is Tuesday because where I’m at, it’s after midnight. And, yes I did just get done doing some school work. I had two papers to write tonight. Me and my procrastinating! I had one on my personal mission statement and the other was a crisis response reflection paper.  I can not believe I waited until the last minute to do both papers. They were due by 11:59 p.m.  I did but still. Not a good habit to be in.  I have one week left of this class.  My final paper has to be a role play assignment where I place the part of a practitioner and I have to find someone to be the client. I have to record the session and then write a reflective paper on it. I’m so nervous about this one.

Okay so today’s topic is “A picture of you and your family.” I have to be honest, I struggled with this one due to the recent divorce.  I didn’t want to post a picture of the entire family of four that included my ex-husband.  I just didn’t.  Sadly, I don’t have a current picture of me and the girls.  I need to get one sometime soon.  We need to do lunch or something.  I suppose that will have to wait until I can afford it. So, I found an older picture of me and my two girls.  It was taken nine years ago I think. I’m not positive. But it is older regardless. They were both still in school.  It was taken at Fred Meijer Gardens.  We all look a bit different now. Kara and I have both lost some weight. Kayleigh has longer hair now and has put on a little weight.  But, this is my family. The three of us. Well, actually, Jon is missing.  Jon is Kayleigh’s boyfriend. They have been dating for six years now I think? I’m not positive to be honest.  He is family now too.  He wouldn’t want his picture on here anyway. Kayleigh and Jon aren’t even on Facebook anymore.  Since the divorce and since Kayleigh has been living with Jon, I feel like we have all drifted apart.  Maybe that just happens as they become adults and more self-sufficient? I don’t know.

MeGirls_2009

Me, Kara and Kayleigh (circa 2009)

Wherever you are in this beautiful world, I wish you peace, love and happiness.

❤ Dottie

 

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Day 13 – 30 Days of ME!

Hello Readers!

Here I am with an extra late post again.  I’m good at this.  I just finished working on school work again too.  Today I went to church and after services, we had a tailgate party to welcome the Fall season.  I’m not ready for Fall or the cooler weather.  The party was supposed to be outside, but the mosquitoes are so terrible around here that the party was moved inside instead.  However, the hotdogs were still cooked outside on the grill.  I managed to eat part of a hotdog, some jello and a few bites of an Oreo cookie dessert.  I’ve not been able to eat a whole lot.  You all know I had weight loss surgery so my stomach is significantly smaller.  However, I’m supposed to be getting in 60-80 grams of protein a day and it’s not happening.  Not even close.  From church, I went out to Lake Michigan AGAIN! And, again it was really busy and there was nowhere to park. I was so disappointed.  So, I just came home.  Spent my day on laundry, school work, cleaning the bathroom, etc.

On to the topic of the day.  It is “A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.”  This is not a good topic for me.  I had to write an anger letter to my ex as part of my therapy, but that would be a bad thing to post on here.  People that read this know my ex and that could be quite disastrous.  So I’m trying to think if there’s someone else who has hurt me. Actually, there is.  Of course, I’m not naming any names.

Dear Nameless,

It has been some time since we have talked or texted and I’m not sure I understand why.  We had shared a common bond.  And we had several things in common as well.  I remember our conversation and how excited we were to find out just how much we had in common.  I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with you.  It was easy to share my feelings with you because you understood how I felt.  We went through such similar trials.

I thought we had a strong friendship and we did for a bit.  Then something happened and you just stopped talking to me. You also stopped responding to my texts.

I no longer existed in your world and I have no idea what on earth I did.  Or if I did anything at all?  Maybe I didn’t.  But the fact that you don’t respond really kills me on the inside.  It’s heartbreaking.  There’s things about me that you knew that nobody else did.

I miss that friendship.  If I did something, I’m sorry.  Perhaps I was overbearing. But if so, you could just tell me. I can handle it. I’d rather know you’re okay and happy with life than to be completely ignored.  It just doesn’t seem fair.

Signed,

Heartbroken

Perhaps this friend was one of those that were only there for a reason or season as they say.  But that doesn’t make it hurt any less.  Losing friends are hard!!  I still secretly hope that this person would message me out of the blue and just say “Hey, I’m okay. Thanks for caring about me.”

Well that’s all I have for today/tonight.

Wherever you are in this beautiful world, I wish you peace, love and happiness.  Be safe!

❤ Dottie

 

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Day 12 – 30 Days of ME!

Hello Readers!

Here I lay in bed at 2:08 a.m. I nearly forgot about posting! I am so sorry. I will get better. I hope.

Today I went out to Lake Michigan again with the intention of relaxing and reading. But, unfortunately when I got out there, it was so busy! There was nowhere to park. I had forgotten that the Salmon Festival was going on. I was bummed. So, I sought out a different park. I ended up at a small park on the Grand River called Deer Creek County Park. It was quiet and there was nobody there. I enjoyed it. Luckily, the mosquitoes weren’t too bad.

Today’s topic is “How you found out about Blogger and why you made one.” Instead of using Blogger, I’m going to use WordPress. Although, prior to this blog, I did have a blog on Blogger. That was more of a family based blog to keep distant family updated on us. That blog is long gone.

This blog here on WordPress goes back to 2013 I think. I believe I found out about it from a friend who had started their blog on here. I started a blog for several reasons. First, I enjoy writing. It’s very therapeutic for me. Second, my therapist wanted me to keep a journal as part of my therapy so I chose to do it online. Thirdly, I have hopes of helping someone else with my challenges. I’ve survived several challenges. If I can do it, so can you. If I can inspire one person, I’d be happy.

Wherever you are in this beautiful world, I wish you peace, love and happiness!

❤ Dottie

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Day 11 – 30 Days of ME!

Hello Readers!

I have got to do better at getting these posts done in a more timely manner.  Once again, I’m so late as technically, it’s now Saturday. It’s after midnight!  I got busy with school assignments.  My class I’m working through is Interviewing & Counseling.  I’m on Week 4 of 5. I can’t believe it’s already almost done.  I have a couple papers to write yet and some chapter assignments too.  Once again, I procrastinated and I had no excuse for it being I haven’t had to go to a job! Instead, I chose to go spend time out at Lake Michigan! Mentally, I needed that though. I’ve come to learn that it’s very important to take time for yourself and spend time with your emotions.  I happen to find the lake very soothing. Nature in general (aside from snakes) is very calming for me.  If I see a snake, you can bet, I’ll probably avoid that area for a long time! I’m SO incredibly afraid of snakes. I HATE them!!

Before I get on to today’s topic, I just want to fill you in on the interview I had.  It was a phone interview with National Heritage Academy.  They’re a charter school and they have 80+ schools in nine states now.  Their headquarters are here in Grand Rapids, MI.  The position I interviewed for is HR Technology Coordinator.  I think it went pretty well.  You have to understand though that I worked for one company for 28 years and have very little interviewing skills…unfortunately.  I continue to look for opportunities.  So please, continue to pray with me that something comes up soon.

Ok – now on to the topic for the challenge… “Another picture of you and your friends…”

I’m posting two pictures. One picture is an older picture of me with my best furry pal Zoey. She is now passed away. She passed in July of 2017.  Zoey got me through an awful lot of heartache. She was there to lick my tears away when my ex cheated on me and my mom was dying.  She has a very special place in my heart and always will.  I miss her!  She was 12 years old when she passed.  Having her put down was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.  The other picture was taken at a Do It Herself event at Home Depot that I went to with my very good friend.  I’m the one with the purple flower address box. My friend has the one with the fairy painted on hers.  Obviously, I’m the odd one out who chose to paint mine a nice bright color, while most others chose to stain theirs.  I still have yet to purchase the numbers for the address. My friend that I went to this event with is a very crafty woman. She has little fairy doors for all of her grand kids and does all kinds of little fairy events and such. It’s so cute.  She also bakes cakes that are awesome and creative!  I am so NOT crafty at all. My gifts lie elsewhere.

Wherever you are in this beautiful world, I wish you peace, love and happiness!

Oh! One more thing…my prayers and well wishes to all those affected by Hurricane Florence!

❤ Dottie

 

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Day 10 – 30 Days of ME!

Hello Readers!

I am incredibly late with my post.  Technically, it’s already Friday early a.m.  It’s 1:42 a.m.  I would’ve gotten this done on Thursday, but a friend called and I ended up going out for a while and it got late.  But I am going to do this post before I go to bed!

The topic is “Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped and Mad…”

This is another fun one I think.  I have a very eclectic taste in music in my opinion.  I’m going to list a few songs for each emotion.

Happy

  • Luke Bryan “Most People Are Good”
  • Florida Georgia Line “Simple”
  • Rachel Platten “Fight Song”

Sad

  • Michael Jackson “Man In The Mirror”
  • Ryan Stevenson “In the Eye of the Storm”
  • Mercy Me “Bring The Rain”

Bored

  • Macklemore & Ryan Lewis “Thriftshop”
  • Mark Ronson featuring Bruno Mars “Uptown Funk”
  • Andy Grammer “Good to be Alive”

Hyped

  • Fitz & The Tantrums “Handclap”
  • Kenny Loggins “Footloose”
  • LMFAO “Sexy & I Know It”

Mad

  • Twisted Sister “We’re Not Gonna Take It”
  • Journey “Don’t Stop Believin'”
  • GodSmack “Good Times, Bad Times”
  • Disturbed “Down with the Sickness”

There were others that I could think of. I actually struggled a bit with this to be honest because there are so many songs that I like.  I do tend to turn to hard rock when I am upset or frustrated though. I also turn to it when I’m missing my dad because he was a heavy metal fan.  His number one was Ted Nugent. He was a HUGE fan of Ted. He would go see him every New Years Eve if Ted was performing in Detroit.  I think my dad had every Ted T-shirt ever made lol.  Maybe not, but he definitely had a lot of them.  After my dad passed away, his wife had a quilt made with all of my dad’s t-shirts.  I thought that was pretty cool.

So that’s my list.  Please feel free to share some of yours or if you have some in common with me, let me know in the comments. I’d love to hear from you!

I wish you peace, love and happiness.

❤ Dottie

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Day 9 – 30 Days of ME!

Hello Readers!

Here we are at Day 9!  Today I went out to the lake again.  I’m not terribly far from Lake Michigan.  I love being by the water. It is so soothing for me.  And aside from gas, it costs nothing.  I drive a Ford C-Max hybrid which is really good on gas too.  The nice weather won’t be here for long so I’m taking advantage of it.  On the way back from the lake, I stopped to visit my mom’s and grandparents graves.  They’re all on one family plot.  I just sat there and cried.  I asked for their guidance.  Tears are exhausting but healing.

Today’s topic is “Something you’re proud of from the past few days…”  Oh my gosh, this is a horrible topic if you ask me.  The past few days have been rather rough considering the job loss.  I guess one thing I can be proud of is the fact that I haven’t let my depression overcome me.  I’m getting out, I’m not isolating or staying in bed all day, which I could very easily do.  Instead, yesterday, I made it to two of my groups.  In the morning, I attended Girl Talk, which is my weekly bible study.  And, last night, I attended GriefShare, which is a grief and loss support group.  I think this is my fourth round of the GriefShare group.  I really enjoy the fellowship, prayer and the friendships I’ve made.  And loss doesn’t have to be the loss of a person. It could be the loss of a pet or the loss of a job or marriage, as in my case.  A loss is a loss and there’s grieving involved.

I’m proud of a few other things as well.  Today, I changed my phone number.  I needed to do this because I feel I needed to do it as part of a fresh start.  Additionally, I was getting so many “No Caller ID” calls.  I also created a new Instagram account and disabled my old one.  I had started my old account back in 2012!  Isn’t that something?!  I was also trying to figure out if there was a way to switch over my YouTube videos to another account, but there really isn’t.  I’d have to download the existing videos and then re-upload them to the new account and I don’t think I want to go through all that hassle.  I think I’ll just leave my YouTube account as it is.

I’m not quite sure why I’m feeling this urge to purge a lot of my online stuff.  But it feels pretty good.

Well, I suppose I should call it a night soon. I have my therapy appointment in the morning at 8 a.m.!  It’ll be interesting to fill her in on my recent job loss.  I just know I’m going to cry.

Wherever you are in this beautiful world, I wish you peace, love and smiles.

❤ Dottie

 

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Day 8 – 30 Days of ME!

Hello Readers!

Here we are at Day 8 already.  Is September going fast for you too?  I can’t believe it’s already the 11th.  With that, may we never forget the horrible events of that day in 2001.  God bless all of those affected by the tragic events of 9/11.

Today’s topic is…Short term goals for this month and why?

I have so many ideas for goals.  But right now, what tops my list is finding a job since I lost mine yesterday.  And the why or the reason is because I have to have at least one house payment made by October 9. My house payment is $926 per month.  I’m currently 3 months behind now that it’s September.

Aside from my mortgage, I’m behind on my car payment and utilities too so finding a job is crucial.  I mentioned yesterday I have a phone interview this Friday.  I also have a friend who is the hiring supervisor at a local hospital and she mentioned that there is a position that will be posted in a couple days and she’ll let me know when it is.  At which point, I will apply for it.  She said it pays $20/hour and after training, it’s a work from home position.  That would be incredibly ideal for me!  So I’m hopeful for that as well.

It’s all in God’s hands though.  Speaking of God’s hands.  Today, I had Girl Talk in the morning.  That is the bible study group I attend.  Afterwards, I took a ride out to Lake Michigan as the water always soothes my soul.  While I was out there, I got a call from my pastor.  He offered to help put money towards my mortgage payment!  I cried.  I couldn’t believe it.  Apparently, someone from Girl Talk called him and asked him to give me a call and talk with me because of how emotional I was and that I had lost my job, etc.  I love those ladies so much!  I love my pastor as well.  God is SO good always.  I know I’m not weathering this storm alone!  Praise God.

I went off on a little tangent there. But I just had to share that news.

So, here’s something to chuckle about.  My daughter is watching TV over in the family room which is only several feet away from me and she’s got the air conditioner running. I’m here at my desk and behind me, I have my space heater on because I’m just cold!  How crazy are we?!  I have a sweatshirt on as well.  I told her it was cold and to turn the air off but she doesn’t think so.  Brrr!!  Oh what will I do when the snow flies!?

That’s it for me tonight.

Wherever you are in this beautiful world, I wish you peace, love and smiles.

❤ Dottie

 

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